Strictly Come Dancing’s head judge Shirley Ballas was left in tears as she spoke about her deep connection with her mother Audrey during an emotional appearance on Chris Evans’ Virgin Radio show.
The 65-year-old dancer joined Evans to discuss her new autobiography, Best Foot Forward, a follow-up to her 2020 memoir Behind the Sequins: My Life. A moving moment came when Shirley revealed Audrey had written a heartfelt letter to her younger self, which left her struggling to read through the tears.
Shirley admitted she “couldn’t imagine” life without her mother, who has lived with her on and off for decades. Choking up, she shared: “At 88, she always says to me, I’ve had another good year – don’t bank on me being here next year. And yesterday she said, I do worry about you. Even though you’re 65, I worry about you when I’m not here. When she says things like that, it’s very difficult to hear. She’s been a huge part of my life, living with me since my son was two until he was 21. She’s the boss in the house – I can’t imagine life without her.”
The star also touched on her painful family history, including the loss of her brother David Rich, who tragically took his own life in 2003 aged 44 after years of battling depression. Shirley confessed that his death left her “anxious, depressed and desolate,” with moments where she felt she was “losing the plot.”
She admitted that in her darkest hours she turned to alcohol to numb the pain, before channelling her grief into advocacy. Together with her son Mark, she launched The Ballas Foundation in 2010 to raise awareness around suicide and mental health struggles.
Reflecting on the lasting guilt around her brother’s passing, Shirley revealed she still blames herself for not being there on the day he died. “He described it as being in a dark, black hole he couldn’t climb out of. We tried to get him help, but in the end, nobody really talked about these things back then,” she said.
The candid interview showed a vulnerable side to the usually composed judge, who admitted: “I feel very vulnerable today. I don’t even know why, but I do.”
